Micro-aggression: Tiny actions with Mega-Impact

Author: Sanjiv Jain

Have you noticed round pebbles at the riverbed or riverside? Don’t they look beautiful, smooth & shiny? Ever thought – Were they like that always? No. They were sharp edged, uneven shaped rocks initially. Tiny water strokes repeatedly, over the years, smoothen their rough edges and have made a lasting impression on their shape and form.  

Similarly, if you see people around – we often find them behaving in a particular way – “societal norms”, what society expects of them based on their class or social strata they come from. Were they like that since birth or wish to be like that? Like water strokes on pebbles – they are shaped by tiny comments, sarcasm, and discriminatory actions……. They have changed the way they act, behave, and appear – mostly unwillingly. Like smooth pebbles, they may appear and behave as society expects but certainly not the way they were and wanted to be. 

Such insensitive statements, questions or assumptions are called Micro-aggression. They, like gentle waterstroke, go unnoticed but make a lasting impact mostly on unrepresented sections. These micro aggressions may show up in one of the following ways:

1.  Micro-assaults that are intentional direct discriminatory actions 
2. Micro-insults are verbal or written insensitive communication based on caste, colour, economic strata, etc. 
3. Micro-invalidations are communication or actions that negate or ignore the negative experiences they might go through based on discriminatory actions, gestures, or comments. 

We may not interfere as far as mother nature is concerned, but can we do something about micro-aggression in society, especially at the workplace? 

As per 2022 Deloitte’s study on the status of women – 60% of interviewed women interviewed, confirmed having experienced microaggression in one someway; Mere 1/3 reported it, and only very few issues were addressed. These microaggressions mostly come from the “dominant section” like males or people in positions of power and mostly go unreported. Employees who face it generally adjust, resign to their fate, and don’t even resist being unaware of its impact on them. Research says this causes huge business loss, lack of productivity, innovation at the workplace besides mental & physical health issues of the impacted section of employees.  

Now the obvious next question is what can I do about the same or should we do it? The answer is a loud YES. I feel we can do three things – Awareness, Awareness and More Awareness. This is the first step and the rest would fall in place. Let us examine what we can do to address micro-aggression at the workplace:  

1) Employees who face Micro-aggression 

• There is a saying that No one can insult you without your permission. It’s true. 
• You need to be aware and address it directly with the micro-aggressor in a constructive way.
• Take care of yourself, be it counselling support or talking to someone close. Don’t try to manage it all by yourself, or allow it to build up emotions within. 

 2) Allies, co-workers, Managers, HR 

• Be aware and educate about microaggression; how it shows up and the impacts negatively 
• Be observant and recognise such actions at the workplace. It’s hard to notice if it’s not directed at you. Awareness and commitment to the cause will help you. 
• Speak Up, report and act as per your organisation’s policies leveraging formal and informal channels. Don’t turn a blind eye, tomorrow it may be you. 

 3) One who has caused Micro-aggression: 

• Listen and acknowledge the emotions impacted co-worker, team member has gone through 
• Don’t be defensive or deny. The worst will be to show counter-aggression 
• Apologise for your action even if it was unintended. This does make you weak, rather you will be better respected for your sensitivity and empathy towards colleagues. Learn from the incident and share it with others who may still be unaware 

This will be a long battle to undo what has been existing for decades and centuries. We need to be patient but firm and intentional about correcting the situation to make our workplace worth living and a place where everyone can be “Who They Are” even if it is like a sharp-edged piece of rock! 

To discuss this issue, I am hosting a panel discussion on 22nd Feb – 2024. If you are keen register.

Addressing Gender Micro-aggression at Work: Expert Panel Discussion – Register Here

Sanjiv Jain – Enabling World